The instructions and guidelines is the 1st attached file. the 2nd file a draft. i need somethings add to the draft to make it final which is why i attached the instructions. also i will be addind feed back from my professor on my draft as well below
(Professor Feed Back)
1.You did a good job of identifying your primary argument for your essay, with a clear thesis statement that lets readers know what you intend to prove. Including a brief summary of the three key supporting points you will use to prove your argument would strengthen your thesis statement.
2.You could strengthen your work by including discussion of opposing viewpoints, providing logical presentation of ideas that refute potential concerns related to your argument. Include your discussion of the counterargument in a separate paragraph that begins with a strong topic sentence to let readers know what you are about to discuss. For example, you might begin like this: Some may say…, but… (in which you fill in the spaces with what those who disagree might say and why their point of view is incorrect).
3.You provided some discussion in this area, but could strengthen your work with more detail in which you draw conclusions based on the evidence you’ve provided, to close in a meaningful way that relates to your audience. For example, you might suggest specifically what should be done moving forward – what should the reader do about your argument? What should happen next?