Essay Question
Answer the following question in a 1,000-1,500 word or more essay (about 4-5 pages double-spaced):
Did the welfare of Americans improve between 1865 and 1940? If so, what do you see as the main reason for rising well-being during the period? If not, why did American living standards fail to improve?
To successfully answer the question, consider:
If you’re saying yes, then explain why your chosen main factor is more significant than other factors
If saying no, then explain why the repeated attempts to improve Americans’ welfare failed
- Only Source to be used are whats provided
- Attached Below are the readings and powerpoints for the essay and 3 short essays to help with the response
The document named “Rewrite” is the document that is to be corrected which also has comment to know the faults.
Additional Comment and how to correct essay
This essay does not adequately address the question or use appropriate evidence.
1. The introduction is too vague to prove anything. What social reforms are you referring to that enabled people to find “better” employment, earn “larger” salaries, and raise their level of life? Economic growth and industrialization aren’t enough to do any of that – in fact those things can do just the opposite to people.
2.. The argument is mostly positive – people’s welfare improved. But some of the evidence says otherwise, like the section from Linda Gordon’s reading,
3. There’s lots of unfamiliar evidence, like stuff that Lynn Dumenil never said but the essay cites her as saying it, as well as repeated references to a “book” that I’m unfamiliar with. Where is a lot of this evidence coming from?
4. The essay is organized in a random way – why discuss the New Deal first, and then jump BACK to the Gilded Age? You also mention social security in two different sections of the essay, on page 2 and 3. Why repeat information?
Here is an outline for the new essay:
1. Your new intro says that the Progressives did not improve people’s welfare (explain why up front), but the New Deal did (explain why as well)
2. Have a paragraph about how bad things were from the Richard White reading. You’ll have to go back and write a new paragraph on it
3. Copy/paste the two paragraphs from Linda Gordon. Explain how they prove your argument
4. Copy/paste your paragrap from Eric Rauchway, and explain how this proves your argument as well.
5. Conclude
That should be good enough to hit the word count!