These were the comments given to me by my professor based on the first draft:
1. for the potential solutions there was not much, focus on likely successes. they need to be specific and targeted on the problem of faulty waste systems and algae blooms in Suffolk County.
2. The regulatory part definitely needs a bit of work! How did an outflow pip…help deal with the causes of pollution? How did a TMDL result in reduced anthropogenic N? What is SCDHS? More broadly, what about the fertilizer laws on Long Island to restrict the use of N-containing fertilizer (https://healthylawns.suffolkcountyny.gov/law/#:~:text=Application%20of%20all%20fertilizers%20between,our%20surface%20waters%20is%20greatest.)? Have there been any attempts to convert cesspools to sewer, or to septic? I appreciate that you have engaged with national and new york state policy, but I think that a bit more research into what is being done to address the root of the issue in Long Island is warranted.
3. For the stakeholders section, I think that – given those residential waste systems are part of the problem – it would have been worthwhile to discuss the positions of Suffolk County homeowners – are they keen to spend a lot of $$ upgrading their waste treatment systems?
4. Finally, for the regulatory history, I think chronological would probably make a lot of sense! I would focus on the policies that have actually had the potential to affect the situation in Long Island. I think you are missing (beyond what I mentioned in the rubric) this program: https://suffolkcountyny.gov/Departments/Economic-Development-and-Planning/Planning-and-Environment/Special-Projects/RFEI-Innovative-Alternative-Septic-Systems
In all, I need all of these things to be added to my paper. I need a very knowledgeable and easy-to-read regulatory history foremost, as well as potential solutions which have been started by Suffolk County on Long Island.