Write a 1-page paper on how your parents influenced each of these areas of your personal development. Do you think you will do things differently or the same with your own children?

March 24, 2023March 24, 2023 Discipline: Psychology

Good Parents Make Mistakes

John and Linda Friel (1999) wrote a book entitled The Seven Worst Things that Parents Do. The
same principles apply whether the child is two years old or 14 years old. At any age, the parent
must be the manager, and the child must learn to cope with the demands of life. The behaviors that
the Friels identify as unacceptable include:
 Baby your child—no pressure, no expectations; the alternatives are reasonable
expectations that include schedules, behavior guidelines, and a little struggle.
 Put your marriage last—a Child Producing Unit with nothing left for the couple; the
alternative is to design a family schedule for time as a couple and spouse’s priorities.
 Push your child into too many activities—avoid personal time by scheduling structured
group activities; alternatively, achieve a balance in family and community group
activities.
 Ignore your emotional or spiritual life—inability to connect with something beyond
ourselves; the alternative is to develop humility and trust, take time for living, love.
 Be your child’s best friend—no guts for management; alternatively, be the parent and
accept that your child will get angry with you and get your own life.
 Fail to give your child structure—no guidelines, no rules; the alternative is to provide
external structure and actively help the child learn self-control strategies.
 Expect your child to fulfill your dreams—push for your career choice; note that twin
studies show importance of genetic predisposition, and a 1998 Harris Poll showed 62
percent of college students would not consider the same career as their parent.
References
Friel, J. C., and Friel, L. D. 1988. Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families. Deerfield
Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc.
Friel, J. C., and Friel, L. D. 1990. An Adult Child’s Guide to What’s “Normal.” Deerfield Beach, FL:
Health Communications, Inc.
Friel, J. C., and Friel, L. D. 1999. The Seven Worst Things Parents Do. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health
Communications, Inc.
What Could They Have Done Differently?
Research shows that parents are at least partially responsible for a number of competencies, both
academically and socially. Parenting practices have been described as influencing communication
skills, academic achievement, personal relationships, community involvement, use of addictive
substances, and even family relationships. Write a 1-page paper on how your parents influenced
each of these areas of your personal development. Do you think you will do things differently or the
same with your own children?
Reference
Barnes, G. M., Reifman, A. S., Farrell, M. P., and Dintcheff, B. A. 2000. “The Effects of Parenting on the
Development of Adolescent Alcohol Misuse: A Six-wave Latent Growth Model,” Journal of
Marriage and the Family 62, pp. 175–186.

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